Finally Crying

I am not sure why I have not cried about the trauma that I went through in the hospital with my son. I have not shared a lot of the details as they are very personal and VERY painful. A lot of accusations, hurtful words, glaring eyes and threats were made.

I was sharing the details with a friend last night and I just cried. And I really had a hard time stopping. After she left, I went upstairs, crawled under the covers and just cried and mourned. Brian just held me. Not knowing what to do.

See he had mourned the entire time we were apart. I guess because I was there in the middle of it - fighting for my son, fighting for what was best for him, and having to be there for him and be strong for him, I did not have time to really break down and cry. I couldn't.

But in talking about some of those details last night, it really hit me what had happened. And it was OK for me to cry.

My friend also has had her share of trauma involving her children. The birth of her son, her first child, was so traumatic, it took her nine years before she was able to scrap it. I have another friend who lost her son just months after his birth. Her scrapping him keeps his precious memory alive. I am not sure where I Fit on that continuum. I have more of the story to tell that what I have already share here on this web page. I am just not sure I have healed enough to scrap it. In fact, I have not done any scrapbooking since I realized my son was sick.

I am just so thankful to God that JJ is getting better. So thankful to Him that my family is safe and together. So thankful JJ is alive. So finally, six months after we have been released from the hospital, I cried.